You’ve forgotten what it feels like to not be strong
Strength is all you’ve known.
Strong like the shackles of familial bond
Strong like the weight of your mother’s tongue
And your father’s fist
Wrapped tight around the idea of you.
You; unafraid to speak yet too scared to say words with meaning
That mean something like when the sun rises every morning
Rises; a new dawn with the promise of a new you
Unfolding like the petals of a flower
The petals crushed with the weight of expectations
Brown blood staining and tainting the petals
Once so pure.
You look in the mirror and you see a strong nosed woman
Brown skin
Bone and tissue carving familiar lines
Tracing back to your ancestors
Suffering and endurance; strength is all they knew.
You look in the mirror and you see a woman scarred
Once bloody and scratched, the skin is now flesh-pink and jagged
If you stretch it out, it looks almost smooth as glass
Brand new yet easy to shatter
Smash into shards reflecting the pain, the hurt, the shock
The sound of clean fingers against glass like the screech of a woman
Face stinging from the pain of a slap
Is this what it means to be strong?
Strong nosed woman,
Strength lies in endurance, you were always told
Strength lies in patience, you were always told
Strength lies in acceptance; you were always told.
So when do you realise the weight of your strength
Is weighing you down
Like a blanket of steel
Crushing crushing crushing your chest like angry waves at high tide
Slamming against the rocks of anger, hurt, betrayal
Rocks they threw at you
Your strength the crest; unwavering. Your pride ripples through.
You forgot what your reflection in the mirror feels like when it is soft, gentle, loved and loving
A softness that flows through you like honey
Warm and caring and a million shades of golden brown all at once
Body aching from the sweetness
Yielding like syrup.
Strong nosed woman
don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.
The Sajidah Edit 